What is relationship agreement? In simple form, it is written agreement between parties involved in the relationship. Relationship agreement can be created in any relationships. Here I will explore agreement in context of romantic or sexual relationships.
When we enter relationship we all have some kind of expectations, however most of the time we live by assuming our partners just know how and what should be happening.
The truth is, we all have different relationship backgrounds, experiences and knowledge. Many of us did not have an effective roles models for relationship. We had to make it all up as we go.
Therefore, blindly expecting the other person to know what we know is like Russian roulette. You just never know when something will shoot. Chances that we have same thoughts on everything are not that high. And when we lack communication around our thoughts, of course we create all sort of mess.
Relationship agreement is a living document, that changes as times goes allowing you to figure out what works for you and your relationship through trial and error.
It nourishes not only people involves, but also relationship on it own. As a separate entity. Relationship is a space between people, and has its life on its own, therefore requiring separate care.
What relationship agreement does?
Creates win/win and keeps everyone maximum happy
Provides security and comfort for everyone involved
Helps you to see world through partner’s eyes
Reduces assumptions and limits frustrations
Helps you to get more clarity on own desires
Opens space for more perspectives and views
Gives you an opportunity to craft your own love and desired relationships from your own blueprint, not from the Hollywoods blueprint
Creates space for individual growth and as a couple (trouple…)
What relationship agreement is not?
It is not one person dictating rules
Not forced upon anyone
It is not place to play it safe or nice, trying to please partner (it’s actually a call for courage)
It is not way to place control over your partner(s)
Not way of sweeping problems under the rug
Not trying to cover every single possible situation
Not disempowering, nor putting anyone down
Relationship agreement can be created any time time in a lifetime and can include any topics that are you choose to.
Common relationship agreement topics, but not limited to:
Definition and vision for relationship
Wellness
Intimacy
Sex
Fidelity
BDSM
Communication
Finances
External things (family, friends, vacations…)
If you would like to dive deeper into creating a successful relationship agreement and learn things that can go wrong =) or just to discuss how you can implement one in your life, you can set a session with me and I would love to help you.